Being in a hurry is not pleasant at all! you can't feel the nice taste of life if you eat it very fast, like now that i can't spend much time on this post and i can't feel the complete joy of writing cause i have to go back to my study books soon. there are only 3 months left to the university entrance exam, which will make me able to start studying MSc if i can pass it. this nasty exam makes my mind busy a lot....

anyway, i also had my class this morning, it was perfect! my students had midterm exam and there was no need to teach anything, so i didnt get tired at all.... i love this job! without having the chance to become a teacher i would never understand what " loving a job " means! ALL what i want from a job exists in teaching (except the good payment!)... while coming home back i was thinking how sad it is that i can't get any class for winter term, i will miss it very badly!!

right now i teach adult students, there are both female and male students in my calss, it makes things a little difficult because we live in a society in which islamic rulls are forced by government, so that girls and boy are kept away from each other from childhood, any situation that consists the presence of stranger females and males can be stressful, especially as a teacher who is resonsible for anything in the class, i should be very careful about any kind of humor or joking,or talking about any special singers, acotrs or actresses as examples, once i asked a young boy "who is your favorite singer?" just to teach them the meaning of 'favorite' he answered "Jennifer Lopez" and i just repeated his answer for the whole class loudly, a lady from other side of the class gave me a glare! (reminds me the glare my mom used to give me at family parties when i was 4 years old)

i remember the first session of this class, when i entered the class, i could see that female and male students had chosen their seats randomly, ( as they had to, because they had entered the class in different times) but the next session, they all had changed their seats, females beside each other and males beside each other, however nobody forced them to do so! i would really like to know if this would be the same in the same situation but different culture....?

He must be about 56 years old. sits at his desk as the manager of his small company, it's not more than 1 month that i started working there as a part time job, he doesn't know me well yet, but it doesnt stop him from talking to me about anything..

he : ( ... yeah, thats how the situation here is, there's nothing here for youth, no future, nothing, those who have good knowledge never stay here, they immigrate to other countries, why should they stay? young people in Germany can spend 7 Euro to go to a disco and dance and have fun for few hours, but what about iranian young girls or boy? what can they do with 7000 tomans? where can they go? or, someone who is graduated from university can get a car easily, he/she has thousands of euros salary per month, but what about here? they cant buy a 60 square meter house even if they save all their monthly payment for about 20 years! )

i didn't answer him, i knew he was right so i just smiled and looked at him, but i really felt a GREAT desire in me to shout at him " Stop it! ". i cant stand it anymore, these kinds of comparisons, why don't they keep their experiences for themselves? why do they tell us about what they have seen in other countries? about the easier and more relaxed life. don't they know that we will hate our stressful boring lives if we know there are better situations in other countries? specialy that you hear this sad repeated story everyday!

Now that we have to live in this sh*t mullahs did to iran!! it will get more difficult to stand it when somebody keeps telling " poooof! what a bad smell, do you know there are some people in this world who don't have to be in bad smelling rooms? do you know there's something called nice smell? do you know you are poor? do you know... "

Most of the emails i receive are from visitors who like my writings. (Thanks :)
but this e-mail is from someone whose name is Mahdi and he is resented,

Hi. I hope that God forgive us all, to be frank i wanna mention that you should watch you present to people I saw your weblog the other day and i visited "how to build a mullah", - He means the cartoon of a man empties his head from brain and becomes a mullah!(iranian-girl) - I got resented. of course I agree there are plenty of problems in the society but there are some red lines too that have got to be esteemed. I leave the rest to you.

i wish i knew Mahdi more, he didn't say anything about himself, what i really want to know is his age, i wonder to which generation he belongs to, is he a middle aged man? means that 25 years ago, as a young boy he had been on streets protesting and trying to change the regime and let mullahs start governing this country? or, he may be a young boy right now who is grown in a religous family, someone who always had to esteem some special red lines?

the other possibility is that he is a mullah himself, which is not a strong possibility at all because i dont think a mullah spend his time on learning English, there are always more important things to learn, like "How should a man punish his wife if she doesn't obey him completely.. ". But i also accept that there is a mullah, an exception, who knows English well.

Mahdi! you talked about the problems we have in the society, Yes, there are thousands of problems we have in our society, also thousands of problems in our country's economy, trade, politics, education,,, add them up and you will see MILLIONS of problems! but why??? have you ever thought of the reasons? we are living in a very rich country, aren't we? we have a great number of youth with high intelligence, don't we? then why do we have millions of problems? i tell you what i think, those who are at the top of the power pyramid, mostly muulahs, they claim spiritual abilities! Now who is brave enough to blame them on all big errors and mistakes they have made because their absence of specialized knowledge in how to manage a country...!?

mullahs need the red lines! They can't exist without those red lines! they are like that nasty kid who breaks the neighbor's window and escapes and hides behind his big, powerful daddy, denying all what he did! it's just that mullahs never had such big daddy, they had to build one themselves, this is Islam with its great GOD "Allah" that is playing the role of big daddy for them, all honest beleives of iranian nation is just like a tool in their hands, a money producer!

Do you think that Allah will punish me for putting that cartoon in my blog?will He get angry cause i made fun of mullahs who are plundering a country? no no no.. i can't beleive it, this beautiful wonderful world can't have these kinds of Gods!

With a university degree now in my hands, It may seem a little strange that i spend most of my time at home, the reason is that i'm going to get prepared for another useless competition , "university entrance exam for post graduation". so i had to forget about well paid full-time jobs and just continue going to a part-time one, like i used to do as a student. and i should continue this way for more 3.5 months!

its boaring to stay home, however there are some good points about it too, i can read different magazines and books a lot more than before. i found something interesting in one of these magazines that was a very old version of Reader's Digest,( year 1973! ) i bought it from a newsstand at Enghelab square,...

after another discussion wit my mother last night, i got completely sure that she couldn't understand me!!, a few hours later i found this interesting writing about GENERATION GAP in the old magazine :

Never in our history has there been such freedom of expression as there is today; never such concern with the downtrodden by the so-called Establishment; never such concern for youth; never such concern for defendants by police and court authorities.

Many who are young will take that as an astonishing statement. this is because youth can measure in only one direction- from things as they are, towards their ideal of what things ought to be. they cannot measure backwards to things as they used to be, because they have not lived long enough; and they cannot measure laterally, to the condition of other societies on this earth, because they have not yet had the opportunity to know them well.

Older people must add these two measurments. this is the core reason why the generation gap exists...

Eric Sevareid

apart from this point that the writer had been from another country and had different life conditions, i like his words. to some extents, they can be international.

i like to start writing again...