In the morning, about 1 hour after i get up, i should crawl to that brawn desk with the papers on it waiting for me to study them... what a difficult thing to do! in each 30 minutes that i study, i get to the kitchen visiting the fridge for about 5 times, turn on TV and turn it off again for several times, and my mind keeps travelling to different places, i always have to take care of my imagination not to letting it fly too far!! study without consentration is just like writing with water instead of ink! it disappears after few seconds....
posted by Fatema at 6:27 PM
2 Comments:
Dear Fatemah
Thank you for posting the comment on my blog.
Can I be critical? Would it cause irreprable harm
if I give some "constructive criticism" ?
I hope not! I hope you consider the fact, that I have
been through what you are describing, sure I am a man,
and you may say: "hmm, what does he know?".
I remember being depressed and frustrated.
I remember looking down on people around me. Thinking
they are stupid and naive. Thinking they are shallow,
and materialistic. Thinking if I ever get out of this
damned country (Iran) I will never come back, ever again. Dreaming of a life, I will build in a foreign land. Leaving all my frustration behind, all the pain
that IRAN caused me will stop. When I was taking an exam, I used to write all my comments in english. I tried to think in english. I really really wanted to escape Iran and leave it to rot in its dark damp damned destiny.
Have I made it crystal clear how frustrated I was?
I hope so.
I can imagine, you are probably doubly as frustrated as I was. I am not surprized. I understand. I can only
imagine, how hard it must have been. Were I in your situation, I would have felt just like you.
I want you to know, I have great amount of respect for you. you have overcome unsurmountable odds.
I can never convey to you the way I feel now about Iran. It is a matter of perspective. Coming to USA opened my eyes to a whole different world. I read ferociously about the United States, its people, its culture and history. I also read as much as I can about Iran and its history. I am thankful to my american friends who invited me in their houses and taught me so much about this country. continued...
You must be asking, "do you have a point?"
Yes, I do. Did what I described bear some similarity
to how you are feeling now?
Do you think Iranians have deep cultural problems?
Do you feel Iranians are people with some really problematic and deeply disturbing cultural habits?
If the answer to my questions is even partially positive, I would like to ask you another honest question. Before that, I want you to think about the question. You criticize average Iranian, since he/she doesn't think "properly". I agree with you. I genuinly and honestly believe you are above average iranian girl. so I believe that you do think.
My question is, Is your characterization of Iranian cultural misgivings, based on a through comparative
study of all the cultures of the world or is it based on your day-to-day experiences? Are you sure that other people don't have any of the characterisics that you described? You may ask "why do I care how other people are?" Well, if it turns out that all people all over the world, think and behave more or less the way you talk of Iranians, then I don't understand the problem, if not why not? Isn't it fair to ask why Iranians think and behave so outrageously pathetic.
what has caused them to be so desperately useless.
so backward, so shallow. shouldn't this abnormality (we already agreed that based on some sort of study, it turned out that Iranians are different) be studied ?
Now let's assume the answer is found. Surely you agree with me, that not all Iranians think and behave that way. because there is at least one that doesn't.
(guess who?) all right thank god, we have at least one. now we can't have 100% of Iranians think that way, can we? so how many adult iranians should think "properly"? out of let's say 50 million, 5, 10, 20 million? how do we know what fraction should be "deep thinkers" and what fraction are? we should also consider we are talking about a country that its people have been historically repressed and have been historically poor. we should consider that literacy in 1979/1357 was about 60%. and it is, still double digit percentage wise. what fraction should read and think like you do and what fraction should drive a cab and bring bread and butter? what fraction should fight in a war they didn't choose and what fraction should go to prison and endure torture beyound belief for freedom? I really don't know how to convey my perspective and point of view. I can only tell you that being immersed in that environment, gives one a limited point of view. When I was there I could only see people around me and all I could see was sad and dark. But only if I could look at iran as an identity as a whole, through out its entire history and geography. all of its people and institutions. all of it. I could not see it that way. I can see it now. and in what I see, I see hope and opportunity. I see great and heartwarming perspective. I see beauty and victory for us, for all of us.
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