♣ Iranian girl

2007-10-16T22:24:00.000+03:30

Time is passing, i have not decided yet, which path is best for my life? there is lots of energy in human's soul and mind. all you need to do is to orient it, give it a direction, find a path to follow, a path which is best for you. i keep thinking and thinking,,

i have always been interested in "knowledge and science". so i can use my life in knowledge field. one good point about it is that it never comes to an end, there are always new things to learn, and it is challenging enough to satisfy an ambitious person like me.

Here it comes the question, "Science" is such a general word and can come in variety of fields: Mathematics, engineering, medical, psychology, social, etc. can i learn all of them? sure nobody can enter all of these fields deeply as we have short lives.

2007-10-13T19:27:00.000+03:30

I am working... I wake up early in the morning everyday,, go to work on the 5th flour of this building, working in a team with other members and a leader. Everyday, after working for 8-9-10 hours I leave the company and go home, this is how I have spent my life for past 2 years..

I have seen lots of "bread worriers". this is how i name them, bread worriers are people who spend their lives working for the goal of preparing material for their lives. preparing good food, good clothing, good car, good house,whatever...

reading my writings which belong to past time, I see a different person with different struggles in her mind and soul... still there are many things that make my mind busy, but the fact is this : I have grown and this is a heppy happening. living in the real society, watching real people, smelling real smells, tauching and feeling the real life .. all of this can be such a greaaaaaaaaat teacher!

2005-10-28T21:22:00.000+03:30

Its not been a long time since iranian women started working outside their homes and have serious jobs. yet in this moment only 20% of us have jobs, others are house-wives or just live with their parents without being able to handle themselves financilay. fortunately this number of working women is growing as we have lots of female univiersity students (more than 50% of all students) i hope that in future things will get into a good balance and all women will work equally with men, 50-50 :)

but anyhow, when you wish a good future for yourself and your sisters, it means you have to fight for it, and try hard to change this selfish male theory that says "all high things belong to men and low ones remain women". this wrong opinion exists in most iranian men's brains! however they will finally have to leave it...

iranian culture is in transition from traditional toward modern. in traditional families, girl was trained to become a housewife and just do house hold chores, in other hand, boy was supposed to learn a skill, get a job and manage his future family. in iran today, things are different, some girls learn skills too, go to work and make money, but men haven't adjusted themselves with new situation yet. its so hard for them to see a girl doing the same job as they do, as well (or even better) than them. sometimes they tell some type of jokes, or words, obviously with the purpose of hurting their female colleagues and making the environment difficult and unfriendly for women.

and they find the easiest way for offending us, by reminding the typical image of traditional women we might be!! jokes such as this one" whats the use of your effort in learning technical knowledge? you think you need it when washing baby diapers? " and burst of laugh after that can be even more annoying..

but in fact, in opposite of what they think, its men themselves who should feel ashamed when remembering iranian tradiational women. our ancestors didn't let women learn anything other than house chores, and then claimed that women were good only for house chores!,,, its silly.

PS:
i dont know how the adds came into my blog comments, i just removed them.

2005-10-18T19:00:00.000+03:30

Ramadan, Ramadan, Happy Ramadan!
hehe,
happy?
how is it possible to be happy with Ramadan?

for me Ramadan means staying hungry for hours and hours, have no energy to work, get headache, and wait impatiently for sunset! it makes no difference if you believe in "fasting" or not, you must be hungry and thirsty because GOD wants so!! this is what living in ISLAMIC REPUBLIC means, this is what stupidity means!

don't need to remind me the old funny story about how Ramadan lets us taste the hunger that hurts poor people!, its just deceiving ourselves! if one of those firm fasting ladies or gentlemen agree to spend even 5% of his/her monthly salary for poor hungry people, then i will beleive they really care for them! but just staying hungry and forcing others fast? has nothing to do with poor people! it is silly!

in the company i work, restaurant serves no food during the Ramadan, and if you decide to bring your lunch from home there is no place for eating it. this is how they make you hate Islam and all its nasty rules which are supposed to bring happyness and luckyness for human!

2005-10-08T18:26:00.000+03:30

Finally, i have a firm full-time job. and i should say that i was so lucky that could get this job as an engineer, in a rather good, big company in Tehran. i have a regular monthly payment which is high in comparison with average wage for a fresh graduated engineer like me. i love it to be financially independant, however, its not easy to call it "independant" if i do some simple calculations like this : i should save all my salary for 3 years continously to afford a car, i should save it all for 13 years to be able to buy the smallest cheapes apartment in the worst location of Tehran, i should pay all my monthly salary to rent that apartment! but its still OK, i keep living with my family and try to let positive thoughts and ideas enter my mind, but not negative ones!
most other iranians are living the same situation and i'm one of them, i'm proud of myself that i can be active enough to make my own money. it tastes so good to me :)

Doing a full-time job makes you spend lots of hours with your colleagues, it seems like being in the heart of the society, i get to know more people and know people more! the only thing i dont like about it is the lack of sport, cinema, books, and being with friends.

i also like to update my blog more often, i got lots of encouraging emails and like to keep this window open, it lets others have a look at my world and lets me have a look at their world and sometimes wave hands for passengers who are passing .

2005-07-22T17:05:00.000+04:30

Just a Lady said...
Hi there Fatema, well come back. But I have this question in my mind, what are you for real? I mean when you put off that mask? Unmasked, you want to be more like…………. unveiled and loud, or, oh sorry just wondering. You seem to loathe your way of life so much. What ideal country or nation do you have in mind? Please don tell me “I don need the west” cause naturally you guyz are craving for “the west” way of life. Any ways, it is up to you guyz to catch up with the west. Look for ward to read your posts.

there are some parameters that show us how good and healthy a system (society- country- nation) is, i can name some of them, for example: equality, justice, freedom, welfare, education, strong economy, etc. these parameters dont belong to any special nation, not west not east, these are definitions of the quality of life. all countries, all governmental systems, should try to get as close as possible to these parameters. its clear that no country has been able to provide them 100% as we know there s no ideal thing in this world, but some countries are closer and some are further. west is closer i think. Iran is moving toward this goal, it still has a long way but we should try to accelerate this movement. WE, as members of this society, and not anybody else.

when i say women shouldnt be forced to wear hijab, it doesnt mean i crave for western countries, but i crave for freedom and equality.

2005-07-16T22:51:00.000+04:30

Here i am again,
after a rather long time i feel i can write again.

Tehran is so hot. 42c today and will be 44 tomorrow. i cant stand my clothes, this nasty hijab bothers me everyday and every minute and every moment of the day! hurts my body and my soul. but it doesnt keep me from being active, im not dead tired yet.

i go to work everyday, while my male colleagues wear cool Tshirts, i have to stand my heavy warm dark long clothes. i also dont forget to wear my mask, a kind of behaviour mask, showing yourself what you really are not! the first thing you learn in iran is how to "Pretend!". its more essential for life than water is! you choose a kind of role that keeps you safe. like the one i chose, a calm serious girl who doesnt think of anything but her work, someone who obeys well with a very simple routine life! and god! how much i hate telling lie! its so difficult to play the role you are not! little by little, you find out that all other people around you are wearing masks too, and you see eachother everyday and work in the same place but never have the chance of knowing eachother truly. the hope for finding real friends is lost for ever. life is so artificial. no smell, no color, no beauty.

2005-06-15T22:09:00.000+04:30

-what made you open a blog, why did you feel that need?
i started learning English since i was a child and few years ago i decided to start writing an English blog just and just to improve my English, then, after i started writing i faund out i was expressing things that made my mind busy, mostly about politics, society, my inside thoughts and opinions, things like this. i also got lots of encouraging emails from different countries, so i liked blogging and kept doing it till now.

in opposite of what you guessed - feeling a need for blogging- no, it was not that at first, but now i see that i have opend a kind of winodow that i can talk to different people around the world (through my blog i mean) and its so nice, it's a good opportunity. you know, if you live in a small circle and just communicate people around you like your friends, family, colleages, etc means that you communicate people who are somehow similar to yourself, and you will lose the chance of being in touch with different ideas and thoughs. BUT IF you talk to different variety of people means you will have access to a much wider variety of thoughts and ideas, and it can be wonderful for a growing soul.

-Is it something many Iranians like to do?
you must mean blogging, well lots of them like to blog, but not many iranians have access to internet yet, and many of them are not familier with blogs, but still there are thausands of iranian blogs, mostly in persian.

-Do you feel free to write there anything you want?
HHHMMMMMmmmm... i criticize things that i think are not fair, i dont hesitate criticizing government or religion and it can be dangerous and put me in trouble, but also i never curse, both because i dont like curse and because i dont want to make anybody seriously angry to start looking for me.

just know that what i write in my blog i would never ever been able to publish them in a magazine or newspaper. we are not this free, also if i had written my real name plus my family name in this blog i wouldnt feel safe then, right now i feel safe cause i think its not that easy to find me. in the real life i dont feel free to say what i think is right, it could be dangerous. right now there are some students who are in preson because of talking and saying their opinions. and everybody knows it but nobody can do anything.

-What are your fears and your hopes, the complaints you have, the problems,
the contraints you face?
my fears and my hopes... i hope that iranian people start to know the real face of Islam as soon as possible, i really hope that. cause then we will be able to grow and develop. people should realize that in 21th century superstition and religion can do nothing and it is science that can work and build a country and bring a happy life for people.

as a muslim girl living in a society mixture of Islam, tradition, developing movement, i can feel many constraints and stress, some of them are applied by government but most of them by culture and traditional lifestyle, i wish that government could help us removing the wrong traditions by using its powerful facilities like TV,educational system,.. but they dont help that much, even sometimes make things worse. like this forcefull hijab law in iran, which is direct interfering in personal life of a woman ( what is more personal than chosing what to wear?) and is constraining women.

-Will you vote in the elections next week? What do you expect of them? And the West Europe, America etc. How do you feel
about them?
NO, im not going to vote, because its useless. living in a country that dictatorship governs on it, i can't find any reason to vote!. "ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN", hearing its name you might think its a kind of republic governing system, but in fact its just playing game with words. putting that word "islamic" can effect it more than what you expect.

in this country we have a leader who is not chosen by election and who will not be leader just for 4 years but for ever, till he is alive. theres no difference between this leader and a king or a dictator. ALSO, this leader is a religious one and it can make things even worse! he has such a holy face in media that nobody can criticize him. its him who has the main control of anything in his hand, the main power! its him who can say who can be a president and who can not. its him who can decide which article can be published in newspapers and which one cant. all power is concentrated in his hands, and president will be just a showman and election is a show!
so i see no reason to vote. we still have a long way to a democratic country and real elections.

-And the West -Europe, America etc. How do you feel about them?
i dont expect anything from western countries. im old enough not to believe stories about starting war with a country in order to help its people. its a joke! i never ever agree with any kind of war, i prefer the nasty situation we already have much more than a war. here we are working, things will get better, perhaps its not that fast but it IS getting better and i can feel it. after some generations Iran will be a better place to live, But war does nothing but destroy and hurt! i hate war. so the only thing i expect western countries is to prevent war.

how do i feel about these countries? well, people are nice i like them. and i myself have never ever felt any animosity with any country. when i was a school girl, they made us repeat and shout "down with USA" in school and we did so without having any feeling about what we said. and now that im not a child i know that nobody can make me shout anything i dont believe, anymore. and i dont want anything bad ever happen for American people nor for any other nation in the world. we are all human beings and we all have lots of things in common with each other, geographical lines are nothing but lines!

2005-06-12T22:08:00.000+04:30

Our Protest Against Violations of Women's Rights in the Iranian Constitution

I was here today...

i shouted for my rights, i shouted for our rights, i enjoyed shouting! and i enjoyed being with them, when you see that you are not alone in your pain, it will make the pain easier

HAGH GEREFTANIST, NA DADANI!!

*picture is from this site www.kosoof.com
*There are more photos here and here and also here

2005-06-10T20:15:00.000+04:30

TV is on just as it always is, its showing an interview with a Lady from Britain, they ask her about her trip to Iran, she says its been so nice lovely and she had liked the architecture and art of iran and also she thinks that iranian people are so nice and kind, then they ask her what she thinks about iranian women, she says that first she had thought it was so constraining that iranian women had to wear scarves but then after she had tried it she had liked it! then she says that when she comes back to Britain in the airport she had taken off her scarf and she had felt like being naked and unsecure!.. i dont know why this lady didnt mention that if she had liked it this much, why didnt she continue wearing it?!

then it shows some parts of the video she had taken in iran walking in a park with her friends while she was wearing a red nice light scarf which was so much different from what we have to wear in universities or at work!..

i dont blame her of course, she had just said her opinions, as a tourist it had been fun to her carrying this light red handkerchief on her head for few days, but when you are born here as a muslim girl and you are about to live here a whole life, things get different. Me, as a girl who loves working and never ever is going to become a house wife, i know that i will have to wear serious heavy dark colored hijab, at least 8 hours a day for ever, this fact is powerful enough to make me mad! even if hijab brings security for women (that i belive in opposite, it cause to unsafe situations for them) still this little bit of security is not worth it standing such a nasty dress code!

Why and why shouldn't iranian governmental TV ever ask an IRANIAN lady what she thinks about hijab? those who agree with hijab have told what they think but those who doesnt like it (me for example!) never been able to say their words, if you search all controlled media in iran, tv, radio, magazines, newspapers, you can find nobody expressed anything negative about hijab though i know thausands of women hate hijab and wear it just and just because they have to...!

YES, these islamic new-born noblemen governing Iran try hard to pretend that everybody in this world loves the same nasty superstitious islamic laws as they love! shame on them!

2005-05-13T17:50:00.001+04:30

Cool weather, spring season, flower smell, the motion of fresh green leaves, everything is full of life, wind blows outside in the yard, i can hear it, i wish i could feel it all around my body, I am far from nature, far from source of movement, i can remember the last time i could feel the wind blowing around my neck and moving my hair, what a great pleasure, i was about 8 years old, i had gone to north of iran with my family for few days, i had recently started wearing scarf because mother had told me i was old enough to cover my hair, that day we went to a park beside sea, the park was not crowded, i took out my scarf and looked at mother to see her reaction, she said that was ok as the park was not crowded! it was my last chance, i kept running, singing, laughing, listenning to sea waves, salty smell, feeling the wind, and running and running, i was a happy child, That was the last time...

we went to park many many times after that day, but my role was changed, i was not a "happy child" anymore, now i was changed into a "thing" coverd in back veil, this thing couldn't run easily, she had to take care of the family honor! she could just sit beside other members of this family pretending to be sedate and degnified, just like any other female child i was imitating the elder female members of my family, family didn't expect me to be a happy active child, didn't expect me to laugh, to run, to enjoy life, but being polite and covered in black long clothes i could be a good girl and they accepted me! it was not important how much i loved the wind movement around my neck, there had to be a scarf and a veil covring my neck because... beacues ? why? did i have any reason for this? aha, because mother had said so!

This was one of the first lessons i got, "It's not important what you need or love, you should obey and do what family dictates, or the family will reject you!"... now after some years, i'm not a child anymore, i'm in a bigger society that expects me the same thing, DONT BE YOURSELF, NEGLECT YOUR NEEDS, BE WHAT WE WANT YOU TO BE, OR WE WILL REJECT YOU!

2005-05-06T18:45:00.000+04:30

Why is it so? life is like a big race to me! i don't want it to be this way.. you keep moving fast, without paying any attention to the beauties around you! where are you running to? what are these all for? what do you want to change into? why do you have a 1 dimensional life? Im a human, with multi dimensions in my complicated soul, a 1 dimensional life cant please me, what can please you finally? would you name it please! i don't know! silly!

2005-05-02T19:24:00.000+04:30

Despite my lazy manner, i become "Sirish" sometimes, means that i stick to something and work on it hard and continusly untill finally it finishes or ends in success, this is how i'm looking for an ideal job these days, and surprisingly i found it real fun! and like it so much!

i have been calling different companies and sending them faxes since a few months ago, after a while they call me and set an appointment for interview, following this process i have been to about 15-20 interviews till now, and i was accepted in some of them but i refused to go because of the low payment.

although i'm enjoying this new hobby, i hope to find a good job as soon as possible, because without a job you don't know who exactly you are, how much you earn and when your free time is. this is what i call "a suspended life". there is no way to give good shape to a suspended life.

2005-03-26T22:18:00.000+04:30

My sister and I went shopping today, i was going to buy a "Manto", a self-invented kind of clothes designed by Islamic republic of Iran after the revolution of 1979. I can say for sure that i hate Manto! isn't it funny that I hate what I wear at least 8 hours a day? But still in comparison with 20 years ago,-when mullahs had longer beards and smaller brains- we are so lucky! because the nasty Manotos are shorter now and they come in different nice colors, and wearing a nice pink manto on streets is no more Taboo, at least not in Tehran.

Everybody knows how much girls and women care for looking beautiful, how much they love wearing beautiful dresses with happy colors. yellow , pink,red, i love them all! but when you have a look at people on streets you realize that at least one of each 2 weomen is wearing black, but why? we are in 2005 not 1985, beautiful colors are not taboo anymore, they wont arrest us, wont send us to jails for wearing a beautiful yellow short Manto, then why don't the majority of girls still prefer black and other dark colors than light ones?? I know the answer cause i myself am one of them! i bought a dark Manto today not because i like dark colors no i hate them,and not because i dont like happy light colors no i love them!... well, if you are a girl who is not very slim, then wearing a light color Manto will make you look funny and overweight, you will seem fat! i myself wearing a light Manto look overweight but in a dark one i look slim, isn't it strange? i don't care if you think my story is silly or unreasonable, don't forget that i'm living in the heart of Tehran and i know how people think and act cause i am one them.

Now imagine that instead of these long montos which are like shortened pregnancy dresses we would wear a simple shirt and jeans, then the fat-looking problem would never appear, and no any young girl would be this silly to put light colors away and choose the dead dark colors!

PS: pictures belong to this website that I like so much...

2005-03-20T12:57:00.000+03:30

Today, we will start a new year in iran. 1384! new year will start at 16:03 this afternoon, all family gather, a special table is set in which there are 7 things that their names start with "s" sound in farsi, there is goldfish , friut and candy too, TV is on but nobody watches, then suddenly it says: the sart of the year 1384 and plays happy music, family starts kissing and hugging eachother, then elders give "eidi" to youngers, which is money in new bills, then maybe some talking and to eachother or reading some parts of Hafez poems, all celebration takes about 1 hour, then mom will go to telephone, calling relatives and friends and celebrate the new year,,, at night we have "Sabzi polo" + fish , its a special food for new year, and of course we will have company, Now we start a long holiday (13 days) and the new year,,,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2005-03-08T19:52:00.000+03:30

Being a "young a girl", means you can't move, you cant discover new things, you can't be ambitious, you can't and shouldn't stay on your own foot, you should never be proud of being brave, you should just keep yourself as a fresh and complete plate of food and do your best to be eaten by the right person, and spend all your life watching out pilfers!

A young girl shouldn't travel alone, a young girl shouldn't accept a well paid job cause Maybe the company wants to take advantages of her!! a young girl shouldn't stay free cause she finally needs a man to support her under the name of husband, that deceitful angel! It is noy worth a damn being a young girl! God! they make you hate being a flower and wish being a worm wriggling freeliy in the mud, little by little you reach the point that you hate all the good gifts nature has given you...

Hey be careful baby! you may regret for your today decisions in future!... What a disgusting advise!! my heart is full of joyful dreams, my brain is full of new and exciting plans, my body is full of energy ready and eager to make these plans real, BUT! i guess i should leave them all in trash and make myself ready for becoming a female robot doing daily duties of a usual woman and live my life till the end! Its so difficult to make yourself ready for something you have always hated! it's not easy to forget your dreams even though you see thousands of people do it.

Look! i don't let you nor anybody else make me bury my dreams with the excuse of caring for me! If i were a buffalo then i would just follow other buffalos to find my way, but I'M NOT A BUFF so i chose my own unique path by thinking, and i don't care weather my path is the same as that majority living in their comfortable safe places or not!!

each time i talk to you and you dont understand my words i feel like i swallow another volcano, One day i may become all fire, will burn me and all damn things you keep worrying for...

2005-03-05T17:00:00.000+03:30

Jam, is the name of an American visitor of my blog and also my friend, Who wrote the lines below, Thank you Jam :)

In the Beginning the Lord created the Heaven and the Earth...

And the Lord (having recently rested from 6 days of creating), saw that the Internet was without Proper Form; indeed a Mindless Void.

And the Lord spoke, and said Let there be Blogs, and There Were, and he saw that it was good, and He smiled.

Then He watched and saw that Many were Evil, and the Blogs were being Abused by All Sorts, for the Wrong Reasons, and by Bad People.

After thinking about It (which takes no time, since He is God), he decided to watch and see what happened.

And, in time, it was discovered by the Thinking People that there was a Lot of Really Bad Stuff out there, and Something Must Be Done.

Many other people also thought this too, and decided to have a committees' committee look at the problem, and while they wasted more time looking up the rules and then arguing about what they meant and to who and how and why and when, the Good Hearted Folks Saw the Futility of acting like that.

And they tried. (And the Lord smiled, for his Good Kids Always Try Really, Really hard, and He Loves that a Lot.)

Then He saw what He wanted to See : The Thinking People, the Ones who Know Love and Pray for the Hateful, who want All Persons to be Brothers and Sisters : Began their Own Blogs. He saw This, and said That is Good! Seriously Way Good!.

And so again He Watched. The world was Awash in Bad Things, and Many Blogs were but a waste of precious space. And there were Many who Truly Used the Gift of the Blog for Good, so He Let Them continue.

Then one day, (August 8th, 2003, to be exact), He Looked upon His daughter, called Fatema, who lived in Persia (or Iran, depending on who was speaking), and Smiled Greatly : She, a Beloved Daughter, had begun a Blog. And she called it 'Iranian Girl', and He thought ‘This is True, so That is Good’. Then she subtitled it ‘An Iranian Girl is Writing about Anything!!’, and He was Most Impressed, for she showed the gift of her given mind, and was ready to take on the world. And He was Very proud.

Then He saw the opening words : ‘Hello, i will write here’ and it was posted at 10:24 AM.

Again He Smiled, even More Greatly, for a Favorite Daughter has set forth on a Journey of the Mind, of Observation and Reflection, Smiles and Thrills and Chills, of Memories past and Future fortunes. Yes, a journey indeed, and as the ancient adage so correctly observes : the Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step.

And Fatema took a step.

2005-03-03T14:38:00.000+03:30

The nasty exam is over now! i didn't do good, nevermind! i can feel strongly that my life is changed now, i spent the few days after exam searching for a suitable full-time job. and , wow!.. surprisingly i found out that i have allot of choice! i didn't know it before. it's good and gives me a hopeful view.

anyway, here i am again, back to my normal life. There are many things that i like to do, many plans for future. we are also getting close to new year in iran. apart from some boring customs that i should attend, i love new year because it's in Spring and makes everything fresh and lovely.

I'm making myself ready to live in this world!

PS : what does it mean when a mother tells her doughter to take more care of herself today? my mom said it when she saw me getting ready to go out today, i asked her why but she just laughed and promissed she will tell me later but not now,... im still wondering why.

2004-12-25T17:29:00.000+03:30

Today, I have to say goodbye to the INERNET world for 2 months,, what a nightmare! i had never did so from since i knew what online life is (about 4 years ago), so these two months are not going to pass easily, there are many things that make you come online, there is always a relation between surfing the net and fulfiling the fire of curiosity, and also i love my blog, but the is a fact thati cant write well with a busy nervouse mind,,,

i will come back, wait for me...

Fatema

by the way: "MERRY CHRISTMAS"

2004-12-22T16:57:00.000+03:30

Winter is here now. i don't like this dark cold season, it's in winter that you can see the ugly monster of poverty, it puts away his mask and you can see the disgusting face behind it.

i know i know, this is an old story, there has always been poor people and rich people, 2 separate class, there's nothing new about it. but i don't know why i can't close my eyes on it, there are some people out there who are feeling cold! there are some children who are suffering and nobody cares!

small children with small hands which are red because of coldness, they walk on streets, try to sell something to people who are passing, i wish i could help them, they shouldn't be on streets that time at night! we all go to our warm comfortable houses, without caring about thousands of dangers that may be waiting for the ennocent street children... we leave them alone in the hell! shame on us... shame on all those gentlemen and ladies who are being paid each months for the job they don't really do!

2004-12-12T18:27:00.000+03:30

In the morning, about 1 hour after i get up, i should crawl to that brawn desk with the papers on it waiting for me to study them... what a difficult thing to do! in each 30 minutes that i study, i get to the kitchen visiting the fridge for about 5 times, turn on TV and turn it off again for several times, and my mind keeps travelling to different places, i always have to take care of my imagination not to letting it fly too far!! study without consentration is just like writing with water instead of ink! it disappears after few seconds....

2004-12-02T11:01:00.000+03:30

This is an email that i got from an iranian man who has been living in Canada for a year. he thinks that Despite the Mullah Regime, living in Iran will bring the most joy to every single Iranian. his point of view is so interesting to me.

"...Being in Iran will bring the most joy because its the only place where you are just like the others. You have the same ideas, thinking methods, looking, feeling, heritage, and many and many other overlaps with your own people. Being in a foreign country might help you to make more money and be free. But, think about it, if you come here, you will be like a flower that has came to another place with a completely different climate. You will soon deteriorate in this climate. Everyone feels, acts, thinks, works, and lives different. They don't understand you. You are not important to them. But, I confess that you are right about the government and poverty over there. And I confess that I can't stand living over there. But I always have a strange feeling that persuades me to come back to Iran.

Now, about why are Iranians so unique, I must confess that I don't completely understand. Iranian friendship and relations are always more powerful than here. People really enjoy being together. uncles, aunts, grand parents, and the rest of the relatives enjoy being together. They spend more time together and don't feel as lonely as people in foreign countries. Many people commit suicide over here for the lack of somebody to care for them. Many parents kick their children out at the age of 18. Many children get rid of their parents by putting them in nursing companies when they get old. Everyone feels a lack of love, and group life over here. Everyone is lonely. If many girls in Iran escape from their home, many parents kick their girls out over here..."

2004-11-26T18:54:00.000+03:30

Being in a hurry is not pleasant at all! you can't feel the nice taste of life if you eat it very fast, like now that i can't spend much time on this post and i can't feel the complete joy of writing cause i have to go back to my study books soon. there are only 3 months left to the university entrance exam, which will make me able to start studying MSc if i can pass it. this nasty exam makes my mind busy a lot....

anyway, i also had my class this morning, it was perfect! my students had midterm exam and there was no need to teach anything, so i didnt get tired at all.... i love this job! without having the chance to become a teacher i would never understand what " loving a job " means! ALL what i want from a job exists in teaching (except the good payment!)... while coming home back i was thinking how sad it is that i can't get any class for winter term, i will miss it very badly!!

right now i teach adult students, there are both female and male students in my calss, it makes things a little difficult because we live in a society in which islamic rulls are forced by government, so that girls and boy are kept away from each other from childhood, any situation that consists the presence of stranger females and males can be stressful, especially as a teacher who is resonsible for anything in the class, i should be very careful about any kind of humor or joking,or talking about any special singers, acotrs or actresses as examples, once i asked a young boy "who is your favorite singer?" just to teach them the meaning of 'favorite' he answered "Jennifer Lopez" and i just repeated his answer for the whole class loudly, a lady from other side of the class gave me a glare! (reminds me the glare my mom used to give me at family parties when i was 4 years old)

i remember the first session of this class, when i entered the class, i could see that female and male students had chosen their seats randomly, ( as they had to, because they had entered the class in different times) but the next session, they all had changed their seats, females beside each other and males beside each other, however nobody forced them to do so! i would really like to know if this would be the same in the same situation but different culture....?

2004-11-16T19:32:00.000+03:30

He must be about 56 years old. sits at his desk as the manager of his small company, it's not more than 1 month that i started working there as a part time job, he doesn't know me well yet, but it doesnt stop him from talking to me about anything..

he : ( ... yeah, thats how the situation here is, there's nothing here for youth, no future, nothing, those who have good knowledge never stay here, they immigrate to other countries, why should they stay? young people in Germany can spend 7 Euro to go to a disco and dance and have fun for few hours, but what about iranian young girls or boy? what can they do with 7000 tomans? where can they go? or, someone who is graduated from university can get a car easily, he/she has thousands of euros salary per month, but what about here? they cant buy a 60 square meter house even if they save all their monthly payment for about 20 years! )

i didn't answer him, i knew he was right so i just smiled and looked at him, but i really felt a GREAT desire in me to shout at him " Stop it! ". i cant stand it anymore, these kinds of comparisons, why don't they keep their experiences for themselves? why do they tell us about what they have seen in other countries? about the easier and more relaxed life. don't they know that we will hate our stressful boring lives if we know there are better situations in other countries? specialy that you hear this sad repeated story everyday!

Now that we have to live in this sh*t mullahs did to iran!! it will get more difficult to stand it when somebody keeps telling " poooof! what a bad smell, do you know there are some people in this world who don't have to be in bad smelling rooms? do you know there's something called nice smell? do you know you are poor? do you know... "

2004-11-11T13:56:00.000+03:30

Most of the emails i receive are from visitors who like my writings. (Thanks :)
but this e-mail is from someone whose name is Mahdi and he is resented,

Hi. I hope that God forgive us all, to be frank i wanna mention that you should watch you present to people I saw your weblog the other day and i visited "how to build a mullah", - He means the cartoon of a man empties his head from brain and becomes a mullah!(iranian-girl) - I got resented. of course I agree there are plenty of problems in the society but there are some red lines too that have got to be esteemed. I leave the rest to you.

i wish i knew Mahdi more, he didn't say anything about himself, what i really want to know is his age, i wonder to which generation he belongs to, is he a middle aged man? means that 25 years ago, as a young boy he had been on streets protesting and trying to change the regime and let mullahs start governing this country? or, he may be a young boy right now who is grown in a religous family, someone who always had to esteem some special red lines?

the other possibility is that he is a mullah himself, which is not a strong possibility at all because i dont think a mullah spend his time on learning English, there are always more important things to learn, like "How should a man punish his wife if she doesn't obey him completely.. ". But i also accept that there is a mullah, an exception, who knows English well.

Mahdi! you talked about the problems we have in the society, Yes, there are thousands of problems we have in our society, also thousands of problems in our country's economy, trade, politics, education,,, add them up and you will see MILLIONS of problems! but why??? have you ever thought of the reasons? we are living in a very rich country, aren't we? we have a great number of youth with high intelligence, don't we? then why do we have millions of problems? i tell you what i think, those who are at the top of the power pyramid, mostly muulahs, they claim spiritual abilities! Now who is brave enough to blame them on all big errors and mistakes they have made because their absence of specialized knowledge in how to manage a country...!?

mullahs need the red lines! They can't exist without those red lines! they are like that nasty kid who breaks the neighbor's window and escapes and hides behind his big, powerful daddy, denying all what he did! it's just that mullahs never had such big daddy, they had to build one themselves, this is Islam with its great GOD "Allah" that is playing the role of big daddy for them, all honest beleives of iranian nation is just like a tool in their hands, a money producer!

Do you think that Allah will punish me for putting that cartoon in my blog?will He get angry cause i made fun of mullahs who are plundering a country? no no no.. i can't beleive it, this beautiful wonderful world can't have these kinds of Gods!

2004-11-08T13:05:00.000+03:30

With a university degree now in my hands, It may seem a little strange that i spend most of my time at home, the reason is that i'm going to get prepared for another useless competition , "university entrance exam for post graduation". so i had to forget about well paid full-time jobs and just continue going to a part-time one, like i used to do as a student. and i should continue this way for more 3.5 months!

its boaring to stay home, however there are some good points about it too, i can read different magazines and books a lot more than before. i found something interesting in one of these magazines that was a very old version of Reader's Digest,( year 1973! ) i bought it from a newsstand at Enghelab square,...

after another discussion wit my mother last night, i got completely sure that she couldn't understand me!!, a few hours later i found this interesting writing about GENERATION GAP in the old magazine :

Never in our history has there been such freedom of expression as there is today; never such concern with the downtrodden by the so-called Establishment; never such concern for youth; never such concern for defendants by police and court authorities.

Many who are young will take that as an astonishing statement. this is because youth can measure in only one direction- from things as they are, towards their ideal of what things ought to be. they cannot measure backwards to things as they used to be, because they have not lived long enough; and they cannot measure laterally, to the condition of other societies on this earth, because they have not yet had the opportunity to know them well.

Older people must add these two measurments. this is the core reason why the generation gap exists...
Eric Sevareid

apart from this point that the writer had been from another country and had different life conditions, i like his words. to some extents, they can be international.

2004-11-06T15:18:00.000+03:30

i like to start writing again...

2004-08-08T23:04:00.000+04:30

Black creators! who are they really? you can find them everywhere! on streets, at schools, inside cars, in the houses, there are many of them in all over the city, but most of them can be find in offices and governmental organizations. they are in big amounts without any soul ( like insects!)....

once i was thinking that if i take a truck into an office and then make all those black creators get out of their rooms, load them in the truck and replace them with another group of black creators, NOTHING and exactly NOTHING could change in that office! because they never play any important role, they never want to be important, never want to be strong,

there is just one thing that makes them happy, " They like to seem black enough in the eyes of white creators! " and to catch this goal they are ready to accept any difficulty, they don't look into a white creator's eyes while talking to him, they gossip after a young black creator who looks a little blue that day, to show how they love their own dark color and how much they hate any bright or blue color, they try hard to look "cold and dry" while talking to a white creator, however they like him, and they also pretend to a friendly, kind and nice manner while being with a black creator, although they hate her!

and after passing each day, they go back home with a lot of sadness and sterss and unsatisfactory by their lives, without knowing the reason,,,

2004-07-27T10:40:00.000+04:30

Nafiseh has an online photo gallery with a lot of interesting photoes about iran, there is also a special gallery for iranian women, i like her view point about "Islamic Hijab". her photoes show the dark, sad shadow covering the life of the religious women, though they themselves seem not to care about it...

2004-07-25T11:32:00.000+04:30

Today i went to Enghelab square. it's full of book stores there and i've always loved going there, searching for books, going from one store to another...

i had 10000 tomans with me and i could buy 2 books and 1 cd, i paid only 500 tomans for the cd included Microsof VisualBasic Studio 2004 + programming tools + learning files! thanks to our lazy government that never applies copyrights on anything!

i came home back by bus, and made myself busy listening to what people on the back seat were talking about, they were two girls who seemed to be old friends, one of them about 25 and the other one was 22 as i understood from their strange conversation...

A(25) : ...yeah, and i finally chose Tajukestan for studying PHD there, its
good cause its near and it wont cost much flying home,

B(22) : you are exactly right, its very important if you can fly home back
easily...

A(25) :i should just wait till the end of Shahrivar, to present my thesis
lecture, and also do my surgeries ( she had explained before that she
would have plastic surgeries on her nose, and on her face removing some
sopts)

B(22) :don't worry you have enough time...

A(25) : And you know? we never know what life brings for us, could you ever
guess that one day you will go to India?

B(22) : No, i myslef never...

A(25) :and who knows? maybe you find a good marriage case there and stay there
for ever,...

B(22) : yes, maybe...

A(25) : Just take my advise, money is the most important factor in choosing the
future husband, i myself, if my husband didnt have a house, what could i
do? Ahhh,, it would be so difficult, renting a house each year and
moving from one to another,..

B(22) : yes, exactly! it could be so difficult

A(25) : you know what? i believe that after marraige the woman should stop
working.

B(22) : yes, i agree, because if you keep working and bringing an amount of
money home each month, it will make an ecpectation! and ...

A(25) : in fact, if you take my advice, dont marry anybody at all! marriage is
not good, just make friends, you cant do it in iran because our culture
doesnt accept it, but after you went to india, just make friendships (she
meant relationships) with boys. as many boys as you wanted(!!!)

B(22) : yes, you are right,thats what i want to do

A(25) : you know? iranian boys don't have capacity, they dont understand
anything,

B(22) : yes, they just want to take advantages of girls....

.................................................................................................................!!

2004-07-14T19:20:00.000+04:30

Wow!

what a feeling!
for the first time in my life, i went to a class as a teacher.i could never guess what a unique and special experience teaching was!

there are many eyes looking at you waiting to see what you will say! you have to think of many things the same time, think of the words you are saying, think of the direction you are looking at, not to look at someone more than others, and also not to forget anybody sitting at a corner of the class, thinking of how to make things easy for them, thinking of the class sequence, not to lose time, so so challanging! God i love teaching!
i hope not to get tired of it as soon as i usually get tired of anything...

2004-07-11T22:58:00.000+04:30

It is raining in Tehran. just like Spring! HHmmmmm what a lovely weather!... Soon i will be graduated, what should i do? one day, finally, i will be convinced to bary my dreams, but till that time, i will try hard, with all the energy in my body! STRANGE! even after reading the book " All will die" by Simone De Beauvoir, Im still ambitious,,, despite all the disappointing feelings may attack you by reading her book, she has been a great woman, i love her, and i love her bright mind.

2004-06-29T16:54:00.000+04:30

Hurrraaaaaaaaaaa!!! my exams are over!!

2004-05-09T22:01:00.000+04:30

..........................GOD's Apology......................

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, "is my time up?" God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

She was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded,"I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?"

God Replied, "I didn't recognize you."

2004-04-26T19:55:00.000+04:30

..........................GODs......................

EACH nation has created a god, and the god has always resembled his creators. He hated and loved what they hated and loved, and he was invariably found on the side of those in power. Each god was intensely patriotic, and detested all nations but his own. All these gods demanded praise, flattery, and worship.

Most of them were pleased with sacrifice, and the smell of innocent blood has ever been considered a divine perfume. All these gods have insisted upon having a vast number of priests, and the priests have always insisted upon being supported by the people, and the principal business of these priests has been to boast about their god, and to insist that he could easily vanquish all the other gods put together...

from Bank of Wisdom by ROBERT G. INGERSOLL

( the whole book is available freely in the internet , txt format ) 100kb

2004-03-01T23:38:00.000+03:30

How to build a mullah...

2004-02-29T08:40:00.000+03:30

Another year is over now

New year is comming. 1st day of Spring, streets are so crowded these days, people go shopping and shopping and shopping, mostly women, shopping lovers! .

As a child, Norouz was much more exciting, i used to count the days for it to come, but now it seems boring, like a usual family party that everybody atteneds it each year, giving eachother artificial smiles and kisses, pretending to be happy...

2004-02-27T14:55:00.000+03:30

Man! shut up please!

How sorry i feel for traditional men! they are about to lose all their enjoyful kingdom in family, don't struggle guy!, you wont win, the sweet dream of your absolute authority is gone for ever!

the only thing you can do is what a weak kid does after a tough boy hitted him on street, he just stands up, cleaning his nose with his sleeve , starts shouting abusive words, and you are doing the same, when you get angry at your female boss ordering you in the office, nagging to yourself that this bitch should go back to kitchen, be sure she will never go back to any kitchen , and you finally HAVE TO accept that she was better than you in doing the job.

2004-02-26T10:59:00.000+03:30

2004-02-24T20:07:00.000+03:30

always hurry up! :(
Run faster! try hard! dont stop! there is no time for rest, no time for fun, no time for knowing the world you are living in, just run ! or you will lose the competition that started from when you were born...

and after running fast in all of these hard years, its not easy to find out that you have entered the zero station, watching around proudly of your great success, but you have to accept that all of these were just getting out of soil, there are still allot of high mountains that this tired body has to climb...

2004-02-07T16:39:00.000+03:30

This is the difference between dogs and cats:

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me...

They must be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me...

I must be a God!

writer: unknown

2004-02-03T10:58:00.000+03:30

" Election show "
The political situation of iran seems awful, the election is getting near like a heavy storm which is going to change and destroy many things, the leftwards and rightwards are fighting with eachother like wild dogs, in order to get more chairs in parliament.

many people don't like to vote, i have heared this sentence more than a thousand times " i don't like to vote, i'll go there but write nothing in that paper, the only thing i want is the election stamp on my identity card, it may be important when you want to be emplyed or..." what a timid nation we are changed into! but i don't blame anybody, people are tired , they just try to get the minimmum injury, and it's been long time they have forgotten the dream of living in a free just happy country.

2004-01-26T18:11:00.000+03:30

"There is always a fear following you on streets"
I was comming home back , it was 6 pm , only about 1 hour after sunset , i was walking toward home in an area which was not very crowded, and also a little bit dark , a young man was walking , in an opposite direction , i changed my way into the other side of the street , im used to do it whenever a male creature(!) is getting near on an empty streat, after i did it, i saw that he did the same , he was getting near to me , again i changed my way and again he was getting nearer and nearer! Ah! i could see his face better now, one of those men who migrate to Tehran from a far town, with a hope to find a job, i had to shout on him ! he was in 1 meter distance and i was making myself ready to escape or may be even to fight with him! but fortunatly my shout made him scared enough to leave me and went far while nagging to himself,,, puuuuuaah! i could have a relax breath!...

finished! it happened for me just like a routine part of my dayly life! my heart stopped beating fast after 1 minute and everything became the same as before!..

i remembered my schoold days , the evening that i was comming home back , i was a 15 year old school girl , a very simple one , i was walking and a man stopped his car and asked me an address , a usual man in a usual car with a usual and polite way of speaking , so, me stupid believed him ! he said that the address was written on a piece of paper which was in his hand , asked me to read it and guide him, so i got near to his car to get the paper, and he gave me the paper, and then before i find time to have a look at it, took his hand out of the window of his car and made a hit into my belly , a hit that pushed me away on the ground , then he speed up the car and went ,

i was so confused ,just asking myself why he did it.

2004-01-20T08:53:00.000+03:30

"The abused child often clings to the abusing parent rather than go to a foster home, and he later grows up to abuse his own children even though he hated the treatment he received"

Human's soul is so complicated, so difficult to know, i was shocked after reading the upper sentence in a sycological paper, childhood is a very important period in life time,

i always imagine what happens to those children who are living on streets, what do they eat? where do they sleep at night? what do they learn from their environment? what kind of men or women they will change into after they grow?

its so cruel that nobody cares for them, they will finally grow, each of them will become an adult with an undesirable childhood, a childhood without love, without feeling safe with anybody, without any game, without education and learning nice things, full of cruel dark cold streets,

someone should finally do something for them!

2004-01-03T20:13:00.000+03:30

My British friend says..
Hi fatema, It's my last travel story from Iran for your weblog , I hope it's o.k.. It is my biggest regret that I did not keep a diary as i travelled in nepal,india,pakistan and iran....

ESFAHAN,QUM,TEHRAN APRIL 1997 --- I have been on the road for four months and I have yet to have a conversation with a woman.Hotel and restaurant workers,taxi drivers,bus drivers and tourist guides are all men.As the saying goes.......IT'S A MANS WORLD.In Iran especially,girls smile as you pass them on the street but none will stop to talk.I'm aware of the implications for a girl to be seen talking to a man in public so I don't engage in conversation either.It's a pity as I'm curious about whats life is like for a girl in Iran.I think as well that a person has fonder memories of a country if you get chatting to the people.A couple of years ago I was travelling around vietnam,enjoying it immensely,but I never had a good chat with anybody.Admittedly,very few people speak english in vietnam.Now when I think about vietnam,I've got no warm feelings towards it.So now I've got my chance.I am in Esfahan,enjoying the Eman Mosque with its gorgeous blue tiles,when two girls wave at me to come over to them.I'm not sure what to do as I do not want to get them into trouble.I decide to go and as I begin to walk over a group of schoolboys,on a school trip from Mashad,appear from nowhere and surround me,wanting to talk about football!!!What bad luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Next on my list was the Holy city of Qum,155km south of Tehran.I was not allowed to enter the Masumeh Mosque but it was fantastic just to look in.At the entrance a man,smartly dressed in a suit,approached me and asked to see my passport.He was polite but firm asking where I was staying and where I was going to next.

The taxidriver taking me to Tehran told me he was from the secret police.I like cities the best and the bigger the better.So arriving in Tehran was very exciting.I remember thinking as I walked around Tehran,here I am in one of the safest cities in the world and yet I decided not to tell my family I was going to Iran.I did not want to worry them.Over the next five days I visited many of the sights in Tehran including the Holy shrine of Eman Khomeini and the cemetery,Behesht-e Zahra.My travel guidebook says "the graves go as far as the eye can see" .It is true.Many of the graves contain photographs and personal things of the soldiers.It was truly shocking to see so many graves.

The hotel I was staying at also had two Malaysian girls.One was a Malay muslim and the other was a chinese Malaysian.They were travelling around Iran only.We went on a day trip to Tochal mountain,taking the cable car.On arriving at the base we got something to eat and as we went to board the cable car a woman in uniform approached us.She told one of the girls,quite sternly,to close her jacket as underneath she was wearing a loose fitting tee-shirt.She got a fright as I did also.We had a marvellous day on the mountain.There was no skiing, as most of the snow had melted, but people were sliding down on plastic bags.All of us were given chances to slide down by people we met there.In my three weeks in Iran they were the only tourists I met.One evening at the hotel I went to their room for a chat and to decide on what sightseeing we would do the following day.About fifteen minutes later the Hotel Manager knocked on the door and said I should leave.He told us that it was O.K for me to talk for a few minutes but not too long as somebody could report it to the police.

My Iranian Odyssey was coming to an end.I had two days left on my visa.One would take me to Tabriz and the other to the turkish border.I have been to many countries since but Iran will always be my number 1.The reason why ......its people.When you meet fellow travellers many stories are exchanged----which countries you been to and what you saw there.Very,Very few people have been to Iran and when I say I have been there,invariably,they say WOW, what was it like?This is where I do my ambassadorial duties!!! come in and I tell them it's the best country you could visit

This post is writen by Mr Sidney Phelan

2004-01-01T21:27:00.000+03:30

I agree with Plate, ( he has started writing again, welcome back ;) ) , political problems shouldnt be mixed with this earthquake problems,, because these 2 are completly different fields, horrible earthquake ! in relation to people's blood and lives, its much more serious than dirty political thoughts! more important than what passes through political men's minds!...

i can't understand why president Khatami insistes on losing this small number of fans remained for him emong people! sometimes he says some words that shows a 100% mullah face of himslef!... we all know that he doesn't have enough power in the dictatorship of KHamene'i , but nobody had put a gun behind him that forces him to say stupid words about iranian's hopes and believes.

about US and diplomatic relation of this country with iran,.. i myself like american people ,they look nice ,simple,happy and free! but i dont like the american government's foriegn diplomacy, ( although its natural diplomacy for a superpower country!) still i think its better for Iran to have friendly relations with USA ,... anyway,...

me, as a simple un-important iraniangirl, thank US and all other countries which helped iran about the earthquake .

by the way!! ***HAPPY NEW YEAR*** to those who are starting a new year. ( in iran, new year starts at first of spring )

2003-12-27T19:45:00.000+03:30

Earthquake,, Bam is destroyed,, horrible,, after a usual day , people sleep at night , an ordinary night starts, but the next morning, they are on cold street in front of a damaged house, and their family members are killed!

a man says he was asleep, suddenly the room ceiling came on him,, he had been able to get out,, searching for his family members.. he had found his daughter's body few minutes later, her mouth was filled with siol and her face was dark, he found out that her daughter was changed into a dead body ... :(

It's horrible, horrible , horrible, dark nightmare, it happenes at night, when most people are asleep at home, and they have less chance to rescue . human's life is sooooooooooo chip!

2003-12-21T17:29:00.000+03:30

Life isn't about keeping score.

It's not about how many friends you have Or how accepted you are.

Not about who you are dating, who you used to date, How many people you have dated, or if You haven't been with anyone at all.

IT Isn't about who you have kissed,

It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have Or what kind of car you drive.

Or where you are sent to school.

It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.

Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on,

Or what kind of music you listen to.

It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown,

Or if your skin is too light or too dark.

Not about what grades you get, how smart you are, or how smart standadized tests say you are.

It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.

It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you".

writer: UNKNOWN

2003-12-17T08:06:00.000+03:30

My British friend says:
SHUSH APRIL1997 I arrived in shush on a blistering hot day. I was here to see the CHOGHA ZAMBIL outside the city. First I needed a coke to cool down and then something to eat. While looking around a bloke of about 25 years introduced himself to me.His name was Mohammed and he spoke excellent english. I told him that I was travelling around Iran for 3 weeks.He invited me to his home for me to meet his family .

I was not to keen.In the west it is considered stupid to go to a house of somebody you just met.In fact it is downright dangerous. It was still daylight so I decided to go with him.He was friendly and said he liked to speak with tourists so as to improve his english.Funny thing was he spoke better english than me!!!!!!!.Mohammed lived with his parents and two brothers.Luckily for me they had air conditioning!!.His mum was about 45 years,an extremely nice woman.His dad was out and would arrive back in the evening .The family were very pleased that I had come to their house.Within 30 minutes she had prepared food for me,as well as the cold glasses of water!!!!Myself and Mohammed talked for a couple of hours and then I decided to leave.BIG MISTAKE.They wanted me to stay at least two nights!!!One night was not enough. Mohammed would organise a taxi to take me to chogha zambil tomorrow.It is something I do not like doing but finally I decided to stay.

Mohammed never told me if he was working.He was well informed on world affairs and liked talking english.Also he had a good sense of humour.Around 8 o clock that evening his friends started to arrive at his house.They were here to see me.For the rest of the evening I was to be the centre of attention.Not my idea of a perfect time!!!.However it turned out to be a fantastic night.I sat beside Mohammed and in front of us sat 12 of his friends.None of them spoke english so Mohammed would be the translator for the night.Later his dad arrived back.When I saw him my face must have shown that I was surprised to see how old he was.Mohammed noticed my amazement and then introduced his dad to me as "this is my father,he is 100 years old"!!!.I don't know how I managed to keep a straight face. For the next hour his friends asked me many questions about life in europe. When I told them I was not married,did not have a steady girlfriend or had no intention in getting married they they were shocked.The reasons I gave such as liking the freedom of being single,of being able to travel when I liked,marriage being a big commitment,so many marriages ending in divorce,did not satisfy them.I think such a solitary lifestyle is not common among among Iranian men.In fact it was my biggest mistake in Iran telling people I was single.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.Next time I go I am going to invent a family!!!!!!.

Mohammed and his friends wanted to know what the west thought of Iran.I was sorry to tell them that Iran had a bad image in the west. Then they told me that none of them liked their government. During the evening Mohammed's mum and friends were getting the food ready in the kitchen.Every time she came to the sitting room with some food she had a question for mohammed to ask me.How were my parents?How many brothers and sisters I had?Were they married? In europe,britain especially,people socialise in pubs and clubs I told them.Also that we need a few beers to enjoy ourselves.I suppose you could say that alcohol is a social lubricant.In my case it is but tonight I was thoroughly enjoying myself without touching a drop!!.To end the evening we watched the video RAMBO.It had been a great night.

Next morning mohammed accompanied me to the chogha zambil.On returning we went to visit a friend who had been a prisoner of war in Iraq.He told me he was held for 7 years.Then in late afternoon another friend took seven of us on a drive into the countryside.We visited a farm that had afghans refugees working on it.The evening was still hot as drove about.When we got back to shush around 8 oclock an evening meal was waiting for us.Tomorrow I would be leaving for Esfahan.I thanked Mohammed ,his family and friends for a wonderful two days.I had been treated like a king.I promised to write and to send on the photos I took of mohammed at the chogha zambil.Next day Mohammed,ever the gentleman,took me to the bus station to see me off.Iranian hospitality has to be experienced to be believed.I hope to return to shush ,some day,and meet these fabulous people again.

This post is writen by "Sidney Phelan"

2003-12-14T11:48:00.000+03:30

People are near to death under the pressure, and those sheeps on the top of the power pyramid just know how to say BAAaa!!

Last night i was watching a report on TV, the topic was people's problems on special medicines, the reporter had gone to a famous public drugstore, people were gathered all around him,

an old woman said that the medicine prices had became so high recently, such that she had to pay 2 million toman (=2500 u.s.$) to buy sufficient medicine of a year for his son who had a special disease, an other old man who was a retired man said that he earned 100 thousands toman par month and had to spend 21 thousand toman per month in order to buy a medicine which helped him stay alive!..

an other man said that in a public hospital which is supposed to cure people for free, a doctor had asked him to pay 5 million toman as an "under desk money" (bribe) if he wanted him to do the surgery on his child! an other one said that most of the rare medicines are available in black market!.. many other people came and talked about their pain in front of the camera.

i knew that if TV is showing this program, its just and just because the parliament election is near and the government is trying to show itself careing for people, but still i was happy that those people had found a fortune to talk about their problems. in the TV stadium, the minister assistant was present and ready to answer about the report,

now guess what he said! he said that this kind of reporting is not scientific, and said that he had been teaching in university for a while before, and he had used to tell his students how to make a correct scientific report..! and he started to shift the blame on TV channel..!

2003-12-08T20:56:00.000+03:30

It seems that i never get tired of gossiping about Islam and its prophet!

Since i am so busy these days (more busy than a bee! ;) i can't write here as much as before, i don't like it because i miss writing in my blog, anyway, someone called herself "just a girl" has written a comment and mentioned some interesting points,it seems she has some questions about the philosophy of some islamic rules such as fasting in Ramadan and wearing hijab, she likes to know if these rules can be a way for people to get in touch with their spiritual values.

i should say that i really don't know! human's spirit is very complicated , and also different in different people , but i know the effects of these rules on myself, (and somehow about the people around me).

i can say by sure that there can be no any direct relation between hunger and spiritual values in people! in the highschool, they tought us that "when some one tastes hunger in Ramadan , he/she will be aware of the difficulty of the the poor people's lives, so that will help them in future"

well, these words seem nice at first, but after growing up and after being in society more, i didn't see such affect in people who use to fast, most of the times they got moody of the daily hunger and thirst and were counting the minutes for the sunset ,to be able to eat again! but still continued it for the entire 1 month, because they were afraid of the hell's fire!and after 1 month fasting, they get so proud of themselves for doing their duty to God!

or,in higschool they told us that a girl should cover her hair and beauty from sick men's eyes, so that she will stay safe, later , that time i thought these "sick men" are just few number of men and its just them who can make life uncomfortable for me as a girl, but larte , thinking more about it, why should it be like this? there must be something wrong,

its like a closed loop! imagine an islamic society in which women should cover all their body when they are on street , like what Taliban forced Afghan women to do, in that society if a woman goes to street with her face out of the cover, that will look strange for men and may attract them and instigate them ,(the expressions of the teachers of religion) imagine the second society in which women are allowd to show their faces and hands, but also they have to wear long chador (veil) everywhere, in this society if a girl goes to street wearing Manto (these kind of funny long coats that we have to wear in iran), then men will be attracted and she will be in trouble for sure! now imagine the third society in which woman are allowd to wear Manto, now if someone wears a Tshirt and a pants, she will fall in trouble, and the story continues to infinite!

what i want to say is that the more hijab rules are strict in society, the more men become sensitive about it, about the prophet's instructions,"cultivate the virtue of modesty in your daughters, for the sake of safety as much as anything else."my mother has a small book full of prophet Mohammad's advices for women and girls,, i read it, and after that i draw a conclusion, 90% of his sayings were in a way which were profitable for men! (and its not strange, he himself was a man, and a selfish one). im going to write some parts of that book here in future,(and if somebody says that we can't be sure if Mohammed said them or not, i will have a very good answer for him/her! so just try it!)

about her opinion "If Mohammed (PBUH) had lived in a world of central heating, sunglasses, steel enclosed chariots (cars), I'm sure our lives would be different" this sentence is in contrast to itself, this is only a wild old primary society that needs a phenomenon called "PROPHET"! a prophet with his messages from God and his miracles! what a huge amount of excitement it could bring for the boaring atmosphere of 1400 years ago!and ,,

i was wondering, if he was in a developed country in 2003, how could he made the educated clever women to accept the funny law that says " a man can have 4 wives!" and how could he himself marry several young beautiful girls with this excuse that their husbads were killed in war and it was his duty as a prophe to protect these women, with marrying them!.

i guess the story of prophet's private life would be published in all newspapers and magazines , people could read and laugh!

2003-12-03T21:41:00.000+03:30

My British friend says:
APRIL 1997 It's my last day in shiraz.I am going to see the ancient palace complex at persepolis,60km away. Yesterday I got my visa extension.It will last two weeks.

The visa officer told me that his favourite movie is BRAVEHEART.I told him,to his dismay,I had not seen it yet.We talked about movies for ages.

I took a bus that morning.My abiding memory of Iran is getting on a bus and having a group of boys waving at you to come and sit with them.Today I sat with two blokes.We laughed and joked all the way.

I spent a couple of hours around the ruins of persepolis and the remains from the celebrations of 2500years of the persian empire in 1971.From here I went to Naqsh-e Rostam where four cliff tombs are located.It's only a few km from persepolis so I decided to hitch.

A motorbike with two guys on stopped.They insist in taking me there.I told them there is no room.Finally I get on and we zoom off.Having spent an hour at the tombs I began to hitch back to Shiraz.However, it's proving to be more difficult.

Many cars pass but they are all full.Several of the occupants wave and smile as they pass.Then a car stops.It's a lone man going all the way to Shiraz.My lucky day.He is about fifty and speaks good english.In the seventies he worked in the oil industry at Abadan.

On arriving at Shiraz he invites me to his house for something to eat.The house is in a wealthy district.He offers to go and get alcohol for me.I refuse.After eating he said "I want to show you a video".He moved the bookshelf away from the wall and from behind took out the the video.

Why hide it I thought.It was a recording of the anniversary celebrations of the persian empire from october 1971.I do not know if it was recorded privately or bought.Kings and Queens,Princes and Princesses and prime ministers attended.It was a fantastic gathering.

He told me living in Iran then,it was the best of times.We watched it all together.He offered to drive me back to my hotel.I thanked him but decided to walk instead.

It had been a great day.

This post is writen by "Sidney Phelan"

2003-11-26T13:36:00.000+03:30

The hunger month is not over unless you see the moon!

Ramadan finished, wow! from tomorow i can have my everyday glass of tea between my clesses in university...! it's really nessesary for my life!

the last day of Ramadan is "Fetr" which is a religious holiday in islamic countries.... but nobody knows when it exactly is unless they see the moon in sky the night before! strange, ha? ...

over here everybody thought yesterday was the holiday, just like many other islamic countreis around iran, but iranian mullahs always like to look different,so they said " nope! we didnt see the moon in sky and the Fetr holiday in iran will be on Wednesday instead of Tuesday!" and what can we do except saying "ok!!!!"

2003-11-18T19:37:00.000+03:30

" from Sidny Phelan"

2003-11-14T10:06:00.000+03:30

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Bubba

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Bubba

2003-11-08T19:00:00.000+03:30

i was shocked after i heared those horrible news!!!

KHOOZESTAN, is the name of a poor province in south of iran,

their people are poor, and poverty never lets culture grow in a good way,

the only thing which is worth for their men, is their nasty prejudice! which has changed them into cruel animals!!

45 young girls were murdered by their close families in just 1 month!
one of them was a girl whose brother had found a card! in her books, a card with no any name or writing on it, the brother killed her, because the girl could never prove that she had not got the card from a boy!!!

it was a few months ago that one of these horrible stories was published to media, a man who cut his 4 year old daughter's head, because he thought the little girl had been raped by her uncle ( the man's brother, and he didn't think of killing the brother, but a small innocent four year old child)!

all of these amateur murderers have a common reason, they say that they wanted to keep their honour, although they loved their families!

what makes them think their sisters or doughters relationships with opposite sex may disturb their honours?

whats makes them think that their honour can be more important than a human's life?

what makes them this much cruel, to take a knife and cut the head of their young sisters or daughters?

whats makes the government keep silence about these disasters?

and, what makes the whole world not to care for those innocent girls who are living in that hell ?

2003-11-05T21:00:00.000+03:30

Some people are used to confuse between the real life and the life of poesy & romance....! i'm talking about those with the famous habitual phrase "MONEY CAN'T MAKE ANYBODY LUCKY!"... why are they thins much ineterested in pretending ?

they don't like the title of "Ordinary person" being sticked to them,,? or perhaps they don't have the courage of accepting low reality of this world...! or perhaps they have never tasted the bitter flavor of a real poverty..!

one of them was talking to me today,,, she said that her father used to be very rich , but he had bankrupt, and they had lost everything, and she had been living in a situation that family had money only for their food and nothing else! but after a period of time the situation got ok again...

her story was told and then her romantic opinion was that her family members were closer and more kind in those difficult days,, and said that after that God helped them and they again had money... i asked her, how much time did that poverty last? she answered 5 months!

well ,, the puzzle is solved! it had been just a variety in your life and thats why you can have such romantic point of view about it! now tell me, what if a dear member of your family got sick and you had to be a witness of her/his death because you couldn't afford the medical care?

HHHHmmmmmm she started thinking ,, and said "No, God wouldn't let it happen" ... but there are lots of these cases happening at the moment around us and noboy cares, not even God!

2003-11-01T18:45:00.000+03:30

Isn't it funny? the governmental laws and rules in Iran (with a semi-modern society) are defined from the pattern which had been followed by savage Arabian tribes in about 1400 years ago! they used to neglect all women's rights, just like most other countries in that old time, but the silly point is that we are still obeying them,...!

In the law book of Islamic Republic of Iran you can find such clear discriminations against women that makes the reader doubt if the edition date of the book is really 2003!!!

for instances:

a wife must not leave the house without permission of her husband! and if she leaves house for 1 hour, and her husband doesn't agree, he can go to a court and say it to the judge...!!

a girl can not get marry (for 1st time) anyone unless her father permit her, and it makes no different if she is 18 or 38 years old!

a husband can get divorce from his wife any time he wants ( just if he pays a specified amount of money which had been defined in marriage day)... but a wife cannot get divorce this easily,, she has to bring some special reasons for the court prove them somethings like he beats her, he drinks,, or things like that!

in a court, witnessing of a man equals to 2 women!!!

there are some jobs that are forbidden for women : being president of the country, religious leader (marja'e taghlid) or being a judge..!!

a man can have more than 1 wife (up to 4)!!!

It is forbidden for a female (!) to ride a bike or motorcycle! if the police see her, they can arrest her!

there are thousands of these silly discriminations in the rules of iran which are applying right now in the courts, families, and totally entire ISLAMIC society..!! they are like dark shadows, following you during your life, always reminding you that in this religion, you are considered as slaves and men are masters!!

it can be really so painful for any girl and woman with self-respect, injure the pride badly!!!

2003-10-30T15:29:00.000+03:30

Joke #1 from Laika

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: it is very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

2003-10-27T19:50:00.000+03:30

The month "Ramadan" (Ramazan) started in iran from today,, it's the name of a month in which Muslims fast during the day,,, they don't eat from sunrise in the morning till sunset in the evening,... everybody in my family fasts (except me..!),

so, my mother wakes up at 3 A.M each night , cooks a delicious meal, and then calls us to wake up and eat that..! ( in ordear not to get so much hungry during the day ) it's a strange experience to eat a heavy meal at 5 A.M in the morning, nobody usually doesn't have appetide for food in that soon hour of morning, specially after waking up from a deep sweet sleep, but as my mom is a wonderful cook and she cooks badly delicious!, we wake up and eat with a gentle smile on our lips..!

in this month, there is no food served in nowhere during the day, resturants are not open, schools & universities don't serve any food to students, and even in the factories there is no food for workers during the day! without caring to this point : "How about someone who doesn't believe in fasting? why should he/she suffer from hunger?".... how deeply i am feeling that ' politics and religion must get seprated!!!'

2003-10-24T08:12:00.000+03:30

Part 2
There are many girls who don't like to wear hijab and scarf, there are many who hate it, and in opposite,there are many girls who like to wear,,

i myself am from the first group, and i have lots of friends, some of them believe in hijab, i usually don't talk about these things with them unless we are very close friends, because people's beliefs are not good topics for conversation, they may think you are busybody!

anyway... right now, if a girl takes off her scarf in the street , she will be arrested and will be send to the jail, and in there, God knows what may happen to her,, but i always wonder what will happen if one day, a large number of girls and women who disagree hijab, gather in a famous street of Tehran and take off their scarves and stay there without this nasty hijab for a while....?

of course nobody can arrest thousands of people, but,MMMmmmm... such dream will never change into real, again that old problem, fear & lack of union... it doesn't let us change...

PS: see these photoes

2003-10-22T19:13:00.000+03:30

What makes a man this much selfish? what makes him think that it's the DUTY of a woman (his wife/his mom/his sister/...) to do his personal works for him...??!!

What makes him this much rude to think all world is build just for him, and women are extra creatures?

What have they done that makes them this much proud about themselves? so that they are used to think all the mistakes made by women are big and silly, but all mistakes made by themselves are small and natural?

i can't understand it,.. it gets worst when you see that even society & government support this think that men are wise and women are stupid...! it happens many time that a TV soap-opera shows a family in which a girl or a mother of the family has problem in understanding simple facts! and others laugh at her...!

it makes me crazy when i see some of the women has believed it..! it is gone deeply into their mind that men are better and able to do hard works, but women can be good just in simple works... well.... THAT IS A BIG LIE!!!

2003-10-17T16:47:00.000+03:30

A : Perhaps the best thing in the world, is sitting at a table, talking to a friend who cares for you...

B : just if we are sure he/she really does care...!

A : why do you always build a bad face for everything? ,,, why on earth you can't be a little optimistic...??!

B : because i am not able to close my eyes,. not even for few seconds...

2003-10-15T20:25:00.000+03:30

Mrs Ebadi came back to iran,... today, surfing the net, i was reading different reactions to her success, and i could find some funny interesting reactions!... i will talk about 3 of them:

1_ president of iran, Mr Khatami had said : "The Nobel Peace Prize is not very important, the ones that count are the scientific and literary prizes." You can read the whole story here.

2_ An iranian group that call themselves " the society of young girls friendship" , i am a young girl, but never heared of such group before!... anyway, they have said " Our dear Imam khomeini(!) told us whenever enemy is praising us, then it means we have made a mistake... so we are in doubt with her! "... they also add " we, members of society of young girls friendship, advice all youth to be aware and not to let advertisements make them far from reality"...

i was shocked..!! who are these members that advice iranian youth? when did such society formed..?( with this attractive anti-islamic name!)? where were they till now..? why do they think that the Nobel prize is given to Shirin Ebadi by our ENEMY ..?

3_Someone called Amil Imani had written a request letter, to ask Shirin Ebadi for becomming the president of iran! he has published this letter in the internet so that people sign it!... i can say by sure that not more than 5% of people who may sign this letter, knew her before her success in winning the Nobel prize... so, they are just repeating the same mistake that all of us did in electing Khatami, we became his adherent without knowing him well,..

I'm sure that i will never sign such letter, but in fact i prefer this brave lady to that chicken-hearted mullah Khatami..!

2003-10-11T21:31:00.000+03:30

Tehran is completely decorated for tomorrow, it will be a religious holiday and everybody celebrate it.... and what is the story of this festival?... tomorrow is the birthday of "Lord of the age" (imam zaman)

As you know,.. two great groups of muslims are shia and sunnite,.. more than 90% of iranian people are shia,..

shia believe that there had been 12 imams after the prophet Mohammed,(his grand sons) and they also believe that the 12th imam never died, he has been living since 1400 years ago till now! and one day he will finally come and will fight with all muslims enemies and will start a 100% justuice government!...

(tomorrow is his birthday ...) the story doesn't finish here... it continues and says that this man (who is called "imam zaman") will govern on the whole earth for a while, and after that he will be martyred by an old woman...! there are lots of more details in this story, such as exact number of his friends when he starts to revolt, the characteristics of his enemies, even the exact city in which the old woman (his murderer) will be born...!!

thinking about this story carefully, even a child can find out that this fable was made by a nation who has alway been involved with oppressor governments and kings during the history, It's obvious that some people made such story and others, add more details to it,...

Up to now, everything is ok,.. all nations have their own fables which are inherited to them from past generations, people like to tell these stories to their children and in fact it can be a positive gift from our ancestor... but what shocks me is the way iranian people face their fables, specialy when they are religious,...

they (in fact i should say"we") have deep belief in these stories... right now, there is a mosque in iran (Jamkaran) which is famous because people say that our lovely " imam zaman " goes there allot! thousands of people go there to pilgrimage,... they even believe that there is a pit over there that if you throw your letter into it, "imam zaman" will pick it and read it....

when you read these lines, perhaps you think there should be a few people who believe these things ,but, nope!.. even in the scientific company i work with in my free times, there are many intelligent engineers who are educated in best universities and they have high degrees... they are used to pilgrimage this mosque each 1 or 2 months, all together,...! and many times they invited me to go with them , and i always had to find and excuse, because if i look into their eyes and say that i do not believe in such superstition, then i guess i will be shoot out from the company for ever...

2003-10-10T22:27:00.000+03:30

Shirin Ebadi, the iranian lawyer won the Nobel Peace Prize....!! i was surprised and happy after hearing this news... so! there is a woman who could express her words & could fight for her goals, and could touch first stepps of success... Nobel prize can be a light that shines in the darkness, it can make her and other iranians more hopeful about future...

the other point that attracted my attention during reading about her, was that she has been the first female judge in Iran... up to now, i thought that there is no any female judge in iran, because according to Islam, it is one of the jobs that is forbidden for women (one other job is being the president of the country!)... so i got double happy after knowing that she had been able to break the hard dam of islamic limitations for women in iran...

2003-10-09T08:13:00.000+03:30

Part 1
I believe that the way we dress, has direct effects on our mood... wearing dark black clothes will make you feel sad and moody indirectly, and vise versa.

now imagine an iranian girl , like me! i don't have any belief in what they call "Hijab" in Islam... but still i have to dress in a way they want,because of living in an islamic country,... so... its been about 12 years , that everyday i dress in an islamic way! a sad unhappy way!...

it makes me more sad and more angry each day! carrying a black scarf on head and wearing a long coat,all time during the day! both in summer and winter!... its the rule and all girls have to obey!...

2003-10-06T19:34:00.000+03:30

Voted Women's Favorite Email of the Year
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, pay the bills and balance the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1:00 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 p.m. he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9:00 p.m. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,

"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

2003-10-04T21:20:00.000+03:30

Our neighbour has a little sweet cute 5 year old boy... during the long summer holiday, i stayed home few days.. and each time i heared him crying and screaming badly for long hours... it made me crazy, i always though some one is disturbing him,.. the way he cried and screamed was not normal really!, they were the shouts which were produced by an extreme pain and anger!

finally, i told my mother about it... i told her that perhaps they are torturing the little kid, but she said it's impossible and a mother never does that! (as my mother loves her children, she thinks all mothers are the same as herself).the other reason made my mother not to believe was that she knew his mom as a wise normal woman... i insisted, and also told her that we should feel responsible about that little innocent kid....

one day my mother told me that she had talked to the kid's mother, she said that his mom didnt know why he cried this much! the woman also had told her that they took him to visit a doctor and a psychologist but they couldn't find what his problem was!..
after that i thought by myself such a pain he is that always cries and screams for nothing!...

after a few months... yesterday.... he knocked our door... we opened the door and saw him at the door... (he is a very silent child and never talks more than few words) we found out that he wanted to be our guest that evening... my dad went and asked for his permission from his family.... so, he entered, and came to my room, sat and started watching me writing on my papers...

it was me and my sister in the room... i had to work on my project that had a deadline for the next day... so i was busy with my papers... and my sister started talking to him , after a few minutes they got friend and started drawing pictures together...

after about 1 hour... i heared him told my sister " Please give me that book, i wan to read it for you" pointing to a book in the book case... it was strange... i was sure he didnt know how to read, he is only 5 years old... my sister gave him the book, he opened it, and started to read (and he was holding the book upside down)... and read these sentences from himself " MY MOM BEATS ME ,,, I AM TIRED OF THAT"...

i was frozen after hearing it!... just like somone pushed me into a frozen pool suddenly!...

2003-10-03T09:10:00.000+03:30

World is similar to a big high school, in which students are divided into different groups, (each group represents a country), there is a leader in any group who must be chosen by group members, different groups are always competiting, in order to be better than others, its always the leader of the group who should arrange the activities and manage the future programs, so, usually smartes students become leaders.

Now it is here that the bitter & funny story of iran can be understood, the leader of this group was chosen by a Big mistake!, a stupid student with lots of mental problems!... and we started falling... other groups were achieving their great developments, while we had to sit and listen to melancholy words of our leader...

except those who are melancholia and love the leader's words, the others are just thinking of a way to leave this silly group and join an other one, and other groups with their clever leaders act as fishermen! They bring their net and catch only big delicious fish!(genius brains).

still there is a big different between us and captive fish in nature, fish don't like to get out of his water,, But the water around us is so poisoned that we prefere to put away our marine life and breath in air, in opposite to our organism!... so , Lets keep trying hard, to seem delicious enough in the eyes of a fisherman!!

2003-09-29T19:01:00.000+03:30

from zan nevesht :

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnat tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?

PS: click here, If you are interested in small, beautiful games .

2003-09-28T17:27:00.000+03:30

In any university, there are some general courses for all students without concerning their majors , such as sport , music , theater ,etc. it had been the same in iranian universities before the nasty revolution in 23 years ago...

after mullah khomeiny started his dictatorship in iran , they changed these nice courses into rligous terrible lessons! (except sport) , thier names are : ISLAMIC MORALS, ISLAMIC LEARNINGS(1&2), ISLAMIC REVOLUTION'S ORIGINS, HISTORY OF ISLAM, ISLAMIC(ARABIC) TEXTS... there are about 20 units of such courses that a student has to pass them during his/her education... that means almost 1 lesson in each semester. all university students with any major have to attend these classes ,and worst of all is that the teachers of these classes are mullahs most of the times!!

it was there that i realized how a horrible & dirty creature a mullah is! he enters the class... sits on teacher's chair, and starts talking about things in his mind! and its the time that you understand what a small head he has, and how silly he is in drawing a conclusion...

i remember one of them who got red of anger because he saw a girl and boy who sat next to each other on the yard bench of college. he thought it was a big sin and God would burn them in his hell!... another mullah who was an old man (and he also had 5 wives the same time) used to stare into girls eyes and watch each of them's face for few minutes, and talking about sex (directly or indirectly) during his words!...

all of them were men with big mental problems... during my education in university, i had attend such classes each week and heared thier incoherent/silly words... there are lots of young people in iran today , who hate mullahs from deep heart....I can say by sure that I AM ONE OF THEM.

2003-09-27T18:45:00.000+03:30

My friends and i went to college as the first day today,after the long summer holiday.... just as always, the college's corridors and yards were full of students ,talking to eachother, laughing , telling jokes etc. but where were the teachers? most of the classes got canceled because teachers were not much serious about first days of educational year.... we went to our classes, sit for a while, and after 20-30 minutes we left the class.this story was the same for most classes, and will continue till the end of this week! what a sad story.

2003-09-25T20:30:00.000+03:30

An Iranian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the Iranian hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, he has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Iranian for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Iranian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire; why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Iranian replies. "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?".
Ah, Iranians...

2003-09-24T15:36:00.000+03:30

Today is a religious holiday in iran, because it is annual of Be'sat , the day in which Mohammed was chosen as a prophet, about 1400 years ago... they say it was God (Allah) who chose him, but i am not going to believe, there are lots of Arabian characters which are holy for Muslims, specially Shia people (Mohammed ,Ali, Hossein, Hasan,Fatema... )

in Iran , religious people love them ,and they like to put their names on their children (like my own parents)... these characters became more and more holy during history... Muslims believe that they had never done any sin during their lives, and they had known all kinds of science!! its strange that in the year 2003 there are still lots of superstitious people !

important sentence of me! : If you are going to make a nation blind, then make things holy in their eyes.

2003-09-21T19:54:00.000+04:30

Imagine initial human , in about 1 million years ago... i guess they had been completely similar to wild animals... without any civilization... before invention of "language", they could communicate just by some sounds, (perhaps like what monkeis do), they had been dirty and dangerous, going hunting in groups and they used to eat raw meat... but passing years, they changed... till now that they are living in civilized cities...now i have a question... how can we be sure that such thing wont happen for animals? may be they are not as intelligent as humen, but that doesn't mean they can never be civilized, it means that it will take more time for them,,, for example 2 million years!... and they will start to be friendly with each other... they will have their own country, thier own rules, their own language and culture , their own shops and business, and imagine the position of human in that world! ,,,we will have to import egg , milk , meat (!!!) ,and any other food from their countries, and if they don't agree, we will die of hunger!!!

2003-09-19T17:09:00.000+04:30

How time flies!!!... the summer is almost gone... and the long summer holiday is over now... i should get ready for going to universty and attendening my classes for new semester... actually starting new courses has always been exciting for me, specially now that im close to graduation...

One thing i like very much about collage, is the steady friendships between students... i myself found 4 other girls like me, and we have made a perfect friendship group with eachother... everyday in lunch hour we go to the landscape in the collage lot,eating lunch and talking and telling lots of jokes... finally we go to cafeteria and come back with a cup of hot tea in our hands which can give us lots of energy for the rest of the day...

I really miss these nice hours at collage, but (like any other place in the world) it has some dark parts to... one of them is when we want to enter university... girls have to enter from a seprate door (!) and after this special door there is a small room in which 2 or 3 women sit and they wear chador(veil) and their job is to watch any girl who enters... to see if she is wearing suitable dresses (Hijab) and if her make up is not much!!! to allow her enter :(
Although i usually dress simply and they dont say anything, but still it makes me angry each time i want to enter! its just like a sign with these words "WE DONT HAVE FREEDOM HERE , SPECIALY YOU GIRL!" and i have to see it everyday...

2003-09-17T21:27:00.000+04:30

Cooperation? what is it? i dont remember anybody ever tought me such thing,,, how should we work together, how should we gather and try for a common aim? is it possible?... is it true that its an essential skill that children should learn in shools? then,,why didnt i learn it at school? and nor any of my friends!,,,in fact,what did i learn at school during 12 years going there everydy? ...always a bad tempered angry teacher came to our class,,talking ,,and finally we were expected to memorize the texts which were in the books! ... and in those nasty mornings,,before going to class,we had to stand in rows for loong time,,sometimes they played quran (!) and some days the manager of school came and made boring speeches about that we are girls and the first thing which is important is the way we dress (keeping hijab) and the way we treat !
even after entering university,,,,nobody encouraged us to do the projects together,,,most of the times our teachers said that they will not accept the projects which are done by more than 1 student,,,and what was their reason? they said that they cant trust student in sharing the works equally between eachother!! funny!,,,any way,,, thats why there is nobody in iran who knows how to work (even how to behave) with others,,, believe it or not,iranian students learn exactly nothing at schools.

2003-09-16T18:00:00.000+04:30

There is a long distance between how i am and how i like to be,,,, one of them is an ordinary girl always busy with diffrent happenings around her with a mind which is full of ordinary subjects,,,, but the other one is an important person who has lots of power,with a strong mind !wow!
during the past years till now, i have tried to make this distance smaller and smaller ,,,,and im still trying,, this is what gives a meaning to the life, "trying hard for a perfect goal" .

2003-09-15T20:03:00.000+04:30

An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Old Lady: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
Old Lady: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Old Lady: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
for back up.
Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.
Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to
the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the
owner.
Old Lady: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

2003-09-13T21:13:00.000+04:30

Comming home back from English class ...heavy traffic of Hemmat highway,,in a taxi,its me and 3 other people+driver,,, everybody is angry and tired ,becoz of hot weather and the nasty traffic which makes u sit in the car and wait and wait and wait,,,,, The woman beside me who seems to be tired,has fallen asleep,,a high level, dark colored car is moving beside the taxi,,its a Xantia car in which a man with white beard is driving ,a woman with a chador(veil) sitts next to him,,and two teenage girl and boy on the back sits,,,

i noticed that the taxi driver is looking at the same car,,,"He is Jasbi" he told us.. all iranians know him,,the head manager of Azad universities departments "bussiness"(!)in iran.

im thinking about the Islamic looks of his family,,and im wondering if he could start such a money maker business ,if he didnt look this much Islamic...

2003-09-11T17:03:00.000+04:30

Why can't I put a picture here which is located in my free web hosting (netfirms)? why doesnt great blogger! let us do that? Its not fair...

PS:
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye... "
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

2003-09-11T13:33:00.000+04:30

Little by little , hot weather of summer is becomming cooler... everybody is getting ready for new season "beautiful Automn" ... there is a kind of activity ,a kind of change in streets and among people, ...

bye the way i m going to put small iranian songs, in the right part of this page,, the files will be less than 500 kb and everybody can download them easily , just by right click + save target as .. ( or just by clicking on the link if you use Download Accelerator ).

2003-09-04T20:18:00.000+04:30

This is one of the milions girls in the world!
I have been breathing for about {#} years!
in the capital city of a third world country,in a BIG,polluted,overpopulated city... it was the {#} year of the big war between Iran and Iraq,when i entered this hell !..
and have been grown in a bad religois atmosphere,,, yeah,,, lots of negative points! but im still alive! i can think and write about what passes through my mind,,,
and still enjoy the life in such auful way!

2003-08-08T10:24:00.000+04:30

Hello.
i will write here.